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9.4.17: Wake Up Wyoming

September 5, 2017 Max Mogren

Labor Day Love, Hurricane #Irma Inbound, #Harvey Reconstruction Redefines Debt Ceiling Debate, Cryptocurrencies Getting Walloped Today, and More: Wake Up Wyoming: 09/4/17

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Every time you ring the alarm an angel gets its wings...

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A fartin' horse will never tire, A fartin' man's the man to hire And a fartin' lady lights my fire... WHY? Because farts are healthy and the serious study of farts can reveal so much about the human condition. To paraphrase and amalgamate the wisdom of Ben Franklin and that played out Dos XX beer huckster: FART PROUDLY MY FRIENDS. 🖖🤪🤙 #fart #joke #howto #make #farts #philosophy of #farting

😲 Its the calm just before the storm of another quick van building frenzy here @dirt_bag_rigs so I am taking a moment to showcase a few recent projects. Here's a van conversion I got to help D.O.G. Vet @giannagernux_ and her barely legal trophy boyfriend @mattcoleman_ complete earlier this summer. Most 📸 are by the lovely @shebphotography The total time we put into this build was only 6 days over the course of a couple months. Gianna and Matt are both very hard workers, so I was able to just sit back and watch it all come together. Just kidding, but not about them being a couple competent, hardworking young adults: they kicked ass and we crushed it together! 🖖😁🤙 The van is a gently used 2018 Dodge Promaster with the high roof. We installed an extra battery, some simple DC electronics and lights, a sink system with a handpump faucet, and a whole lot of lovingly butchered lumber. Gianna was pretty smart about picking up materials on the cheap: she scored free insulation and flooring from friends and a one of a kind "sink" of which we must never speak. Carpenter Jack @greysriversports gave us a great deal on some sexy live edge black walnut slabs and timbers for the kitchen counter, bed supports, and such. We went with 3/4" AC ply for most surfaces and 1/4" mahoganey ply for the walls because it was on sale and looked great under a dark stain and finish combo. All in all we completed this project for a few thousand dollars plus the cost of the van. The color scheme was Gianna's choice and she nailed it, just as all of her decisions were pretty on point! Working with her was pretty painless because she knew what she wanted and communicated her wishes quite well. Matt and I had a lot of fun with Gianna calling the shots because it's her van. I sure am getting to know a lot of great people by working on these sorts of projects together. Everyone's got their own unique flow (and quirks) but a little kindness and good communication goes a long way! Reminder if you're still reading this: the #greatunbranding contest is still underway. Link to the deets might soon appear in my bio... #vanlife #dirtbag #jacksonhole #livingthedream #forthewin

Silliest scam in human history? #coldbrew #coffee... OR... living caffeinated without getting violated: Ski Bum Wisdom #3 The @dirt_bag_rigs Great Unbranding is still underway. Submissions will be accepted until September 31st. The people will be choosing our winners. 1st place $500 value project. 2nd place $250. 3rd place $125. What a wild time to be alive... might as well win some free shit for covering up a logo or two on corporate outerwear. 🖖😲🤙

Ski Bum Wisdom: The one dollar, one minute ski wax trick OR how to slay sloppy spring skiing AND keep your bases from oxidizing all summer long... 🖖🤤🤙 This trick was passed down to me telepathically by my Viking ancestors who were waxing skis looooooong before electric irons, plastic scrapers, and ridiculously overpriced, toxic (fluoridated) specialty ski waxes even existed. If you can get your hands on a battle axe and some whale blubber -- great! -- but if not a razor blade and bar of household wax will do. Hold the blade more or less perpendicular to the ski and scrape off as much old gunk as you can. If you've got dings to fill now would be a good time to burn some P-tex into the damaged areas, wait for it to cool down a bit, and repeat the perpendicular razorblade scraping process. Now all you've gotta do is rub on some cheapo Parowax and call it good enough. PROTIP: It's best to do this on a hot sunny day so the wax really melts deep into the base. Add a second (and third!) coat of wax for enhanced slipperiness and protection from summertime oxidation. PROTIP #2: The @dirt_bag_rigs Dirt Bag Contest is still underway! Check the last video in this post for more info. 🖖😆🤙 #howto #dirtbag #skiing

Tag your homeless friends! Or put us in touch via DM. Now offering 22% off rig builds for all #jacksonhole and #wydaho locals currently living out of vehicles. One free shower, two loads of laundry, and a deep clean detailing included with each build. Señor Sun gotcha sitting up sweating at dawn daily? We've gotcha covered with custom blackout curtains. Constantly struggling against clutter? Check out our sliding storage boxes. Also, we've got a dumpster on site where you can *legally* ditch any trashy stuff no longer serving you. Hit up @maxmogren or txt 3076990464 to schedule your appointment today. We can get most builds done in a day, especially if you decide to get your hands dirty working together. One Love. Peace. 🖖😆🤙 #thestruggleisreal #vanlife

😲 The Engrish Muffintop Trick: Ski Bum Wisdom #1 ... or How to Pack a Whole Shitwhack of Tasty Sandwiches into a bag a little smaller than a @nalgene bottle... 🥪🥪🥪🥪🥪🥪 Brought to you by @dirt_bag_rigs I learned this trick from the Great Grimaldi, a true paragon of dirtbaggery if ever there was one. A little prep cooking can go a long way when you're headed into the #backcountry. 7oz of salami, 8oz of provolone, and a six pack of whatever overpriced Engrish muffins are on sale will keep you going strong all day long out in the #mountains whether you're #climbing, #mountaineering, #hiking, or just trying to #getlost #offgrid for a couple of days. Stay tuned for more #skibum #wisdom right here @maxmogren 😘😘😘 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

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Max Mogren's Real News, Resolutionary Views, Trip Reports, and Gear Reviews. Based in Alpine, Wyoming.

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